So much has happened since we last updated you. Life is a bit of a rollercoaster right now, and one with an incredible speed! We can't believe how quickly the days beside Lianne's hospital bed flew. At the same time we would wait, and wait, and wait some more for doctors to come and talk to us. It was difficult to remain patient, to remain calm, to remain at peace.
Yet we experienced incredible peace, peace that surpassed understanding - peace that calmed us and helped us remail semi-levelheaded. We were once again greatly encouraged by all the words, messages, prayers, etc. We thank you!
Last week was a difficult one. On Monday Lianne started radiation therapy. 5-10 sessions. I went with her twice and stood amazed at the technology. I don't really watch sci-fi movies but the machines surrounding and buzzing around Lianne seemed far too sci-fi for me. One button on a keyboard moved the bed a fraction of a millimeter up or down - and that with the bed being in another room. Things zoomed around her and the radiation targeted the lung tumour. We had hope. Then they said that 5 sessions would be it. Did they lose hope?
Lianne felt the effects of radiation pretty quickly. Her mouth was dry and couldn't be kept wet. She drank a lot of water but that didn't really help. She was warned that her coughing would likely get worse and it did. We're thankful for all the porters - some made us wait for them, others were waiting for Lianne to brought down to the basement of the hospital to get treatment, or for her to be finished and go back upstairs. Again our patience was tested. Perhaps (those around) patients learn the most patience? It sure feels like we needed to learn that once again.
Lianne still deals with the side effects of radiation. And they're not pleasant.
Lianne's uncle Auke, aunt Elise, and cousin Anne Sophie arrived last week Saturday from Florida. They stayed with us at the house in Calgary and visited with Lianne daily. We've created many memories with them over the years especially at special occasions - like their wedding in the mid nineties, several New Year's Eve celebrations including 2000, Peter's wedding, and mom's 50th birthday. We have both moved from the Netherlands and started life in North America. Elise and Anne Sophie stayed a short and very sweet four days, Auke is staying a little longer. They've spent many hours by Lianne's bed side, held her hand, encouraged her with lovely hugs and kind words. We're grateful they came, and were sad to see them leave.
Our dear friends Chris and Krystle came to Calgary Tuesday. Krystle and Lianne have gone many places to location scout over the last couple of years, as Krystle is a photographer. Krystle shared this week: “this sweet friend of mine (yes she carries my mittens for me when I am shooting!).” Lianne told me about her own new learned photography tricks that Krystle so patiently taught her when they went to Edmonton last Spring to take photos with the macro lens. Lianne and Chris and Krystle have gone tubing down the river with friends a bunch of times, spent many times laughing and sharing together too. And now Krystle came to take our family photos. An emotional shoot for us as family but so thankful for this opportunity!
Thanks Chris - you're an awesome assistant, and thanks Krystle for the incredible photos. We will cherish them always!
Another highlight of the week was Friday's worship night. James and Lianne talked about songs to sing and James organized it all. Around five Emily came to Lianne's room and together with Marieta drove Lianne down to the chapel. Nurses asked if we were going out, but no - we were just going to praise God! Full of excitement, and full of joy. The lines O sisters let's go down, down in the river to pray... good Lord, show me the way (Down to the River to Pray - Alison Kraus) kept rolling through my head as we walked down the corridors. Worship with all her people was one of Lianne's wishes and I actually found mixed emotions swirling through my veins. Lianne had told me before going down she thought maybe 15 or so would come. When we walked into the chapel she said "wow, so many showed up." A room full of worshippers, God's children, coming together lifting praises to our heavenly Father and at the same time weeping with grief and crying out for healing. Dave and Margaret led us with guitar and piano, which was absolutely wonderful. There was a time in which people shared scripture verses that were written on their heart. People from every chapter of life came - high school friends, Lianne's pastor from when she lived in Calgary, Crossroads friends, youth group leaders, parents of friends, Lianne's siblings and their kids, her friends and so many more who drove over 2 hours to be with Lianne. Around 60 hearts joined together, as one, united. We wept, we held, we shared, we sniffled, and we sang. Sang praises to the Lord our God, our Maker, our Healer, and pled with Him to heal and for His will to be done. After about 2 hours of wonderful fellowship we wrapped up, took a group photo and brought Lianne back to her room. She was exhausted but overjoyed. Filled with the Spirit, and encouraged.
During the worship evening Lianne made an announcement to 'her people'. After fighting in a medical institution she had decided to go home saturday. Home doesn't mean giving up but to continue fighting at home, fight to good fight and to continue giving God the glory. At home Lianne also hopes to deal with this carcinoma more naturally.
On Saturday morning an EMS team came to Unit 61 to pick Lianne up. Mom and dad had packed Lianne's belongings earliee and headed out before us to make stuff ready in Lacombe. I went with Lianne in the back of the ambulance. I told the paramedic this has been a month of many firsts. Andrew and Paul, the paramedics, were super caring and gave Lianne all the attention she needed. We joked around in the back of the ambulance, had some chats about shitty pavement, got all the details about equipment surrounding us, and tried to stay positive as we felt every bump and crack in the pavement for about 200 kilometers. At the same time Andrew and I sat ready with kleenexes, wet washcloths warm blankets, a water bottle, and other necessities for Lianne. Lianne squeezed Andrew and my hand when pain became a bit too unbearable to hold alone.. Finally we arrived in snowy, gross Lacombe. Snow is beautiful, but in September it’s. We're very thankful for the wonderful EMS team who brought Lianne all the way inside and onto her new hospital bed that was set up. She even got to keep the blankets. A souvenir from the team! Thanks guys!
Cindy, Helma and dad had done most of the legwork at home the days before Lianne's arrival. They cleaned, moved furniture, scrubbed the carpets, switched rooms around, and even did some minor fixes that have been on the to-do lists for a while. The girls set up and made beds and arranged everyone's place to sleep. Thank you to Jolanda and Jan-Willem for letting us use your trailer. An extra home on our driveway was an answer to prayers - where would we house everyone?! It has come to great use! Manuel and Juda helped hang the cards and Corné framed the newest family photo for Lianne's new room.
At home Lianne is receiving wonderful care. Mom is doing much of the caregiving, but we've got a great team helping us. Tammy and Kim are two wonderful ladies who help out. There are also the OT and the lady who figures out the oxygen. We're thankful for wonderful nurses who come and help out and work overtime on the weekend so that Lianne can get the right meds. We're thankful for Tara for coming to our house first thing Monday morning to help us out too! You all make this so much more possible for us! Lianne is trying out new mattresses every second day, she's becoming an expert in that area, and will hopefully find the right one soon. At home she continues to deal with the effects of radiation, tries to figure out the perfect concoction of meds; this not without trial and errors, not without high pains and some fuzzy minds. She also gets chef's meals individually prepared by mom. Thank you Auke, for the delicious custard and thank you dad and Helma for running all over town to get the right groceries. We love that Lianne has more of an appetite now and pray that she will gain strength from the food she gets to enjoy. A slice of bread with Dutch cheese sure was fantastic Sunday morning!
Lianne is a determined woman. She's got something in mind and she will do whatever it takes to get it done. Sunday morning she really wanted to go to Crossroads. So off we went! Almost everyone of our family was able to come. We were welcomed at church by Char who had arranged a wheelchair for Lianne. Some pews were reserved for us and it was wonderful to look behind us and find some of Lianne's friends with us too! Lianne loved being with her church family even though it took quite a bit of energy it gave her energy too.
Monday came. Corné, Erika, Manuel, Juda, and Marieta were heading back to Holland. I told Lianne I'd been avoiding that moment, that good bye, that farewell, that see you soon moment all day. I didn't want to think about, didn't want it to be real. Good bye is hard. It always has been. You'd think I'd have gotten used to it after living away from family for 7 years, but no. You'd think we'd have learned after moving across the world 14 years ago, but no. You'd think we'd get better at it, but we don't. It seems that every time it gets more difficult, more raw, more of your heart tear, more of our tears to roll freely.
We wept and it hurt. We prayed and it calmed. We hugged and it was good. Real good. Real sweet.
Psalm 27. It had been on my heart for several days. Then one day Corné, Erika and I were hanging out with Lianne at FMC. Lianne had just moved to her own room, a large room labelled OC1, with a full size whiteboard. We needed to decorate - make that place somewhat homey because Lianne would likely be staying there for a while. I asked Lianne if I could write something on the whiteboard, and then Psalm 27 was suggested. I printed several verses as Lianne read them to us.
The Lord is my light and my salvation—
whom shall I fear?
The Lord is the stronghold of my life—
of whom shall I be afraid? For in the day of trouble
he will keep me safe in his dwelling;
he will hide me in the shelter of his sacred tent
and set me high upon a rock.
I remain confident of this:
I will see the goodness of the Lord
in the land of the living.
Wait for the Lord;
be strong and take heart
and wait for the Lord. (v. 1,5,13,14)
It was a friday when we wrote it. On Sunday the Ebenals came for a visit. Don told us that at church that morning they’d prayed for Lianne with a bunch of people and then someone came up to him and shared Psalm 27 to share with Lianne. We were speechless. Only God can give the same words. Later that week Lianne moved to a different room, a different place with a neighbour, so that was an adjustment after having her own room for a while. Housekeeping came quickly after Lianne moved out; OC1 room was cleaned from top to bottom. Everything was cleaned, the bed sheets changed and the room made ready for the next patient. Except the whiteboard. The whiteboard stayed the same. Psalm 27 remained. When we moved out of the hospital last Saturday the Psalm was still there. The Word of God endures, even though all around it changes. The Word remains the same, it stands strong, it holds fast. God stays the same. He never changes. He is the stronghold of our lives, He is the shelter in the storm, and we get to dwell safely in His presence. And how we pray, to see His goodness here in the land of the living, the place we dwell now.
How we wait for Him, and try to take heart and be strong. Wait for the Lord.
~Marieta~
Dear Marieta, beautiful words again written with a hurting but so overflowing with care and love! What a difficult road you all are on but what a blessing to see and know that God is holding you all in His palm! We continue to pray for all of you and we know that He will surround you with His loving arms!